From Rachel's Heart...
Monday, March 29, 2010
I have to say that I laughed out loud when I read Wendy’s blog this morning. You see, I know what those shoes looked like that she’s talking about and how neither one of could even really walk in them. And I remember that we just had to take a picture to text to her teenaged daughter who thinks she’s much cooler than we are. I also remember the scene in the store that we created laughing hysterically as we both tried to walk in the shoes and as we snapped pictures with my phone. Okay, maybe Wendy’s daughter is right….maybe we aren’t that cool after all. But, we sure did enjoy ourselves that afternoon and laughing hysterically at 5 inch red leopard print heels is exactly what both of us needed that day!
After I finished laughing at the memory of those shoes, my heart just swelled. Like Wendy said, I am also so very grateful for our friendship. And, also like she said, we are quite different in certain areas of our personalities, skills, and backgrounds. But, you know what I have learned about God inspired friendships? I learned that God has a way of putting us with people who will sharpen us, strengthen us, and perfect us and He doesn’t just surround us with people who are identical to us. Awhile back, I wrote something on friendship that I have never shared on this page. But, I want to share it today:
My husband once said to me, “When God gives you something, He doesn’t just give you something that is good enough, He gives you something that is perfect.” At the time, he was talking about a job that he had just received after months of prayer. And, he was right. It was the perfect job. But today, I thought of that quote when I thought of my best friend.
God has blessed me with many things in my life. He blessed me with a wonderful husband who is thoughtful and caring and who loves me so much that he wants me to have all the desires of my heart. God has also blessed me with wonderful children, one of whom was a miracle. God also blessed me with a wonderful career and skills that have suited me well to this point in my life.
But, just when I thought I didn’t need anything else in my life, I was given the most amazing gift in my best friend. Through some rough circumstances, God knitted my heart to her heart. And, there really aren’t any words to describe what that actually feels like. When your heart is knitted to the heart of another by God, you have a connection to this person that is similar to that of David & Jonathan in I Samuel.
So who does God knit your heart to? I believe that God knits your heart to the perfect person for you. And, I believe that this perfect person is not an exact replica of you, but someone who complements you. In the dictionary, complement is defined as “something that completes or perfects something else.” What an image of the perfect best friend. Someone who perfects you. They perfect your personality, your skills, and your relationship with Him.
Reminds me of Proverbs 27:17: As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. The perfect friend for you complements you, sharpens you, completes you, perfects you.
As Wendy said, we are different in certain areas of our personality. And, because of that we challenge each other to see things and do things that are out of our comfort zones. We challenge each other to grow in our walks with the Lord and we challenge each other to use our skills in new ways and we challenge each other to enjoy the splendor of this world in ways that we haven’t before. And, what I have learned is that it is so amazing to begin to see the world and to grow by being challenged by people who are not just like us. We can’t be sharpened by someone similar to us – we are sharpened by those who are different and challenge us.
Friends, I pray that each one of you has a best friend who sharpens, challenges, supports, and perfects you in your relationship with the Lord and in your life. And, if you don’t, then pray earnestly that the Lord will send someone into your life who can be that for you. And, when you are praying for that, remember to be open to finding that relationship in someone who you would have never expected God would send to you. Remember that your perfect best friend may be someone who is not exactly like you, but someone who God believes can sharpen you. And, always remember that “When God gives you something, He doesn’t just give you something that is good enough, He gives you something that is perfect.”
Thursday, March 25, 2010
A couple of days ago, Wendy talked about our friendship in her blog. And in it, she described how frustrating it can be when your best friend lives in another town. I can’t tell you how many times in the last year that she or I wished that we could just run to Starbucks for coffee or go out to dinner. But we couldn’t because we lived 4 hours apart. We laughingly remember a Cracker Barrel dinner about a year ago when we both lived in Baltimore where we talked for about 6 hours and the only reason it was that short is because the restaurant was closing. And sometimes, even now, I’ll just text her and say that I could go for a 6-hour Cracker Barrel dinner.
While it is frustrating and sad when your best friend lives in another town, especially when you just want to talk through something that might be going on in your life, I want to share with you something that she and I learned this last year because we lived in different towns. And, what we learned was to truly depend on God and not on each other when things got tough in our lives.
As women, it is so natural to have friends to have fun with, laugh with, cry with, and share our deepest concerns and fears. And having those friends in your life is wonderful and I am so grateful that I have such a dear friend in my life. But one thing that we all can run the risk of doing is turning to our friends before we turn to the Lord when we’re struggling. And, we seek help and comfort and advice and fixing from those friends rather than seeking it from God.
This last year, because we were separated by about 250 miles, we couldn’t just pop over to each other’s houses or go out to coffee when we were struggling with something. And, in some ways, that was a very good thing. Because, what I saw in this experience was how easy it is for us to want to turn to our friends instead of turning to God first. And, in this last year, when I couldn’t run to my friend, I developed a dependence on the Lord like I have never had before in my life.
If you are fortunate enough to have your friends close by, then I challenge you to look at how you respond to the daily stressors and hurts you experience. Do you instantly run to your friend or do you fall to your knees first? Who do you truly depend on when things get tough in your life?
Friends are wonderful and I feel blessed that I will be living closer to my dear friend soon, but please do not rely on them instead of the Lord to help you through life. I encourage you to run to the Lord first when you are struggling and then run to your friend. And, in your friendship, encourage each other to spend time with God first and then spend time together talking about all the ways that the Lord is working in your life. And, I believe, when you put God first in your relationship that you will find that your friendship becomes a spiritual sisterhood that is almost indescribable.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Do you have a word or item that is very meaningful to you? Something that gives you strength when you see it? Wendy and I have a word that is very powerful and anytime that I see it, it reminds me of so much. And, that word is believe. What is funny is that it became immensely meaningful to us due to a fairly spontaneous purchase. You see, when Wendy was moving from Baltimore to SE Virginia, I bought her a bracelet that had a cross pendant on it with the word believe inscribed on it. When I bought it, I wasn’t looking for it specifically. I was looking for something that she could wear to remind her that God went with her to her new home, her new calling, and her new life. I bought one for myself too and told her that I would wear it every day until she was settled in her new home and that every time I saw it on my wrist, I would pray for her and her family and their transition. As sad as I was that she was leaving my town, I believed that God had a plan for her in her new town.
Every time either one of us sees the word believe, we are reminded of God’s presence in our lives. We are reminded of his plans for our lives. And, we are reminded to believe in his power and direction. And, on days when I am feeling a little weak in my own transition, I put that bracelet on to have a visual reminder of who we believe in. We don’t believe in our strength, we believe in his.
Do you have a word or item that is meaningful? If you don’t, then I recommend that you purchase something to be a visual reminder of God’s presence and power in your life. And use that visual reminder to strengthen you in whatever you may be going through.
Friday, March 19, 2010
I think I have mentioned before that I am not the most patient person in the world. I have a really hard time waiting. And, it seems like the last couple of years have been full of a lot of waiting.
When I think of our pregnancy with Isabella, waiting is one of the big themes. There was absolutely nothing we could do but wait and let her develop. And, that waiting was full of such uncertainty and wondering about what the outcome was going to be. While we knew that God was right with us and was going to help us cope with whatever the outcome was, we had to wait for months to find out what we were even going to have to cope with. For the entire first half of 2008, we just waited to see what was going to happen when our daughter was born. And, after a springtime of uncertain waiting, we received an amazing blessing in June.
Right now, I find myself in another springtime of waiting. This waiting is a little different, however, than the waiting that we did two years ago. This waiting is an excited, anticipatory waiting. You see, right now, we are waiting to move from Baltimore to southeast Virginia. In fact, we’ve been waiting to move and start our new life since October when my husband got his new job. But, since my kids are in school and I am finishing up my teaching and research at Johns Hopkins, we weren’t able to move until June. And friends, I have to tell you that on some days, I am so excited to be moving and starting this new phase of our life that I can barely contain myself. I am looking forward to pursuing the call that I believe God placed on my heart last year. I am looking so forward to moving from the city to the country and to having some land that my kids can just run and play on. I am looking forward to being closer to our family and being able to see them more often. I am looking forward to not having such a hectic lifestyle and having time to enjoy the land and family that will be nearby. And, I am looking so forward to living in the same town as Wendy again and being able to enjoy our friendship and ministry.
Last night was one of those times that I could barely contain myself. I was thinking of everything that the future holds and I was just so excited. And, what I realized is how waiting for the good things makes their attainment even more special. Have you ever noticed how much more you enjoy something when you had to really wait for it? It is just so much sweeter when you had to live for a period of time without it. Makes you really appreciate it. So, last night, while I was feeling excited and impatient, I decided that I was going to enjoy the excitement and anticipation rather than just be frustrated that it wasn’t here yet.
Next time you find yourself waiting for something that you really, really want, I recommend that you savor the waiting. Because, I think that when you have to wait for the arrival of something good, that it ends up being simply spectacular when it does arrive. Right now, we find ourselves in another springtime of waiting and we are looking forward to another amazing June blessing.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
If you have ever read the About Us section of our webpage, then you’ve seen our mission statement and why we have named our website, After the Miracle. And, in the section that describes our name, we have the following paragraph:
“As we have reflected on the miracle and as we have continued living life since it, we have learned a lot about ourselves, about the Lord, and about helping others. And, this website ministry was formed to share the many lessons and life experiences that both founders have gained since witnessing this miracle.”
As most of you all know, Wendy and I have been through a lot in the last two years and continue to experience life changes and life lessons. And, when we started this webpage, it was our desire to share some of our perspective, our life experiences, and the lessons we’ve learned with all of you. A couple of months ago, Wendy and I met and talked about the lessons that we believe we’ve learned in the past two years. And yesterday in my quiet time, I found my list of lessons in one of my journals. Today, I would like to share that list of lessons with you.
1. God is all powerful over all of creation.
2. God can give you the strength to endure any waiting. It is not easy to wait on the Lord, but He will see you through.
3. If we look, we can find many good things in our bad events.
4. That everyone has a story to tell and that we must use our stories to help others.
5. You must be open to how the Lord can use you and don’t worry about the outcomes. Just follow where he is leading you.
6. Make all decisions with him and then don’t second guess the decision he’s given you.
7. Live life in prayer mode.
8. The Lord uses ordinary people to do his extraordinary work.
9. Your relationship with Him must be #1. Greater than husbands, best friends, children, work, or personal goals.
10. When you don’t know what to do next, work on you relationship with Him.
11. We don’t always know why and we shouldn’t waste our time trying to figure it out. Just ask God, what do you want me to do with it?
12. If you ask and truly listen, God will show you what you’re supposed to do.
13. There is nothing more meaningful than doing things for him.
14. Having a spiritual sister is so important, if not critical, to your life.
15. Let go and let God.
16. Nobody is as together as they seem.
17. That God is God and I am not.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Would you consider yourself a courageous person? What is courage? Where does your courage come from?
Courage is defined as “the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.” Notice that it is not the absence of fear or doubt. It is the ability to withstand it. To persevere.
I love when courage is mentioned in the Bible. In Deuteronomy 31:6, we see “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Similarly, in Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." And, in Chronicles 22:13, “Then you will have success if you are careful to observe the decrees and laws that the LORD gave Moses for Israel. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged.”
When courage is mentioned, so is strength. And, one thing you also see is the presence of God. Our ability to withstand danger, fear, or difficulty comes from the Lord. And, discouragement (being stripped of our courage) does not come from God, but rather comes from Satan. As we see in II Timothy 1:7, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”
The next time you feel fear or doubt in the face of a difficult situation, do not let Satan discourage you or take away your strength or perseverance. Be strong and have confidence in your ability to withstand because the LORD your God goes with you. And, you may not have confidence in your own ability to withstand the difficulty, but do you have confidence in God’s ability to withstand it? Draw your courage from the One who can withstand and overcome any danger or difficulty. Get your courage from Him and do not let Satan dis-courage you.
Monday, March 15, 2010
I’ve mentioned before that my research focus at Johns Hopkins is relationships and how one’s social network affects psychological and physical health. And, what we have seen quite clearly in research for the past 50 years is that being isolated from others and/or lonely is not good for your psychological health or your physical health.
I’m sure we’ve all experienced feeling isolated from others. Feeling alone can interfere with your mood, your ability to problem solve, your ability to handle stress, and even your ability to do simple daily tasks. We see it in research and we’ve all experienced it in life. And, if you’ve ever felt lonely, then you know that it doesn’t feel good.
God knew (even before researchers at Johns Hopkins knew) that it wasn’t good for man to be alone and that is why he created a companion for Adam (Genesis 2:8). And, there are numerous stories throughout the Bible where individuals felt isolated from other people and they cried out in distress (either by their own doing, the betrayal or others, a call from God to do extraordinary things, or just due to circumstances). When I think off the top of my head, I can bet all of the following people had periods of feeling really lonely: Adam, Cain, Joseph, Elijah, Abraham, Moses, David, Jeremiah, Naomi, Mary, Elizabeth, Peter, Paul, and even Jesus. In fact, throughout much of his ministry, Jesus probably felt very alone as even his disciples didn’t fully understand who he was. And, in the hour of his greatest need and anguish, his closest friends fell asleep in the garden, betrayed him, denied him to others, and scattered. Only one of the twelve was at the cross. And, he even felt that his own Father had abandoned him when he said, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:45).
Do you feel alone today? If you do, then I wanted to tell you that I share your pain. I know what it feels like to feel alone. In fact, at this time in my life, I have days where I feel very lonely due to the transition that we are making in our lives. My husband is traveling a lot, my family lives elsewhere, my best friend lives in another state, and I have a lot of things that need to be done before I leave Johns Hopkins and our house. And, it can feel very lonely. However, I take comfort in a couple of things. First, I know that this feeling is temporary. My circumstances will change soon and my husband will not be traveling as much, I will be closer to family, and I will live in the same town as my best friend. But, even more than the fact that this loneliness is temporary, what I take most comfort in is that Jesus knows what it feels like to be lonely. He experienced his own loneliness and he experiences yours. Your God knows your pain. And, he doesn’t want you to feel alone. He wants you to feel connected to Him and connected to others. The Psalmist said it well in chapter 73: God is always with us and while our heart and flesh may fail, He is our strength and our portion forever (v. 23-26).
It is so comforting to know that my God knows what it feels like to be lonely. And, in some ways, I am glad that I know what it feels like to be lonely because it is through such experiences that I can reach out to others who feel alone. If someone crosses my path in the future who feels lonely, then I feel like I can be a better witness to them because I have experienced it myself. Similarly, how amazing it is to know that God became human and experienced everything that we’ve experienced. He humbled himself, became man, and knows what our pain feels like. He understands your experiences even more than anyone else does. And, for me, knowing that Jesus has experienced what I have makes me feel a little less alone.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
My son is 9 years old and I just have to share something that he wrote for school. He is in the 3rd grade and he had a writing assignment that was titled, What Do I Treasure Most? The instructions were to think of something that you treasure and write a paragraph with an introduction, a middle, and an end. I want to share his paragraph with you today because it made me smile and warmed my heart. This is what he wrote:
My Cool Friend Connor
Connor is one of the things I treasure. The first thing I treasure about him is that he is nice to me because he shares his iTouch with me. In addition, I treasure him because he likes to do what I do, like go outside and throw the football. The final thing that I treasure about him is he is there for me when I am sad. He has dirty blonde hair and glasses. He likes football, baseball, and basketball. And this is my friend Connor.
What a sweet picture of friendship. Giving to each other, spending time doing fun things, and being there for each other when you’re sad. I am glad that my son treasures his friend and it was very special to read about it in his assignment.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Today is Wendy’s birthday and today’s blog is for her.
For those of you who know Wendy, you know her as a kind, compassionate, Christ-filled woman who lovingly and gracefully serves the Lord beside her husband. She has one of the biggest hearts of any woman that I have ever met. And, she simply loves the Lord and loves people and for that reason, she is one of the most effective servants of the Lord that I have ever known.
In addition to watching her serve others with her husband in ministry, I also have been blessed to call her my friend. And, I can tell you that the person you see as the “pastor’s wife” is the person I see as her best friend. She genuinely loves the Lord and earnestly seeks to serve Him daily. I simply have no words to fully describe how much she means to me and how profoundly she has impacted me. She is the most precious friend that I have ever had in my entire life. And, I know that she was sent from God to be my friend, my spiritual sister, and my partner in this ministry that we share together.
When I think of our friendship, I think of Proverbs 27:17: As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. We have spent so many hours on the telephone talking about Scripture and ways the Lord has spoken to us and how we have been brought to our knees in utter dependence on Him. We have challenged each other and sharpened each other and supported each other and prayed for each other as we both continue to grow in the Lord.
Neither one of us was looking for a best friend or a spiritual sister when we met each other, but the Lord had different plans. And, God created a beautiful friendship and sisterhood for us both to enjoy, to grow in, and for us to use in partnership for Him.
I am very thankful that Wendy is in my life. In her, I have found a true friend. And to my dear, precious friend, I say, “Happy Birthday and I love you!”
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
I was giving Isabella a bath this morning and I was just overcome with emotion as I remembered what an amazing miracle she is. As I watched her splashing around, trying to drink bath water, and laughing as she splashed herself in the face, I was simply overcome. There really are few words that I can find right now to fully articulate what it feels like to look at your child and know that God performed a life saving miracle in her. I think of Mary looking down at her baby and everything that happened around the birth of her child, the Messiah, and how she treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart (Luke 2:19). I have an experience where God worked in a marvelous way in my life and I just don’t have the words to fully describe it. And, as I watched Isabella in the bathtub this morning, I felt God so close reminding me of how great He is.
The birth of Isabella is a daily reminder to me of the power of God. And, I want nothing more than to share my story with others. God is all powerful. I have seen it. I have seen Him alter human physical development and go against science in the creation of Isabella. And friends, if He can do that, He can do anything. He can fix your marriage. He can fix your heart. He can calm whatever storm is going on in your life. Believe that.
Now, please keep in mind that He works in His own time and in His own ways. So, your ideas of what a “fix” looks like, may be different than His. But that does not take away from the fact that He is all powerful. And, his splendor is all around us. Cling to His power today. Cling to His strength. There is no one more powerful than God. I had proof of it splashing around my bathtub this morning. And remember my favorite verse today, “So that your faith would not rest in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.” (I Corinthians 2:5).
Monday, March 8, 2010
I have a million things swirling through my head right now that I could blog about today. And, these things range from the really mundane and silly all the way up to the extremely personal and only God knows it. But, what I think I am going to blog about today is how I am going through a major refining moment in my life right now. And, let me tell you, being refined is painful.
Last week, I was shown a verse on refining and it is Zechariah 13:9, “This third I will bring into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.'"
As most of you know, I have felt a big call on my life to leave my career and go into women’s ministry of some sort. I’m not exactly what sure what shape it is going to take ultimately, but I am eager to write and speak to women about Isabella’s Story, about hardship and the Lord’s strength, and about connection to God and others. I believe very strongly that God has called me to do this. And, as a result of this call, my husband and I decided back in September to move at the end of this school year and really pursue this calling. But, I am finding that just because you have been called to do something and you earnestly seek it, doesn’t mean that it is going to be easy. Because friends, I have reached the point of the journey where it has become really hard. And, I feel that I am in the middle of the fire of refinement. I have had experiences and situations emerge over the past few months that have challenged me to my very core. And, I feel that there are areas of my personality and self that are being broken and reshaped. And, I have to be honest, there are days where I feel like I am failing in the refining process. But, I have found that God is patient and I’m grateful that a few key people who are on this journey with me are patient too. And even though I am in the middle of the fire of refinement right now, I know that the Lord will complete His work in me so that He can use my experiences and my skills for His glory. And, I am resting in the fact that the LORD is my strength and he is my silversmith.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Yesterday was Dr. Seuss’ birthday! My daughter came home with a Cat in the Hat hat and she asked me if we celebrated Dr. Seuss’ birthday at my school too. Her question made me smile as I thought, “Oh, if only Johns Hopkins spent a day to celebrate Dr. Seuss!!”
As I was thinking of the whimsical nature of many Dr. Seuss stories, I also started thinking about some of my favorite Dr. Suess quotes. Quotes like:
“A persons a person no matter how small.”
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."
“You're off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So get on your way!"
Dr. Seuss quotes just make me smile. They’re fun to say and they can really make you think. One of my favorite of his quotes is, “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” How true that is. Sometimes the questions in life are very complicated, but the answer is always simple: turn it over to God.
It seems like Wendy & I spend a lot of time talking about and writing about turning over our decisions or troubles or questions to God. And, we do that because she and I have both lived and learned that despite our best efforts, we can’t explain everything and we certainly can’t fix everything. So, when things are complicated (and even when they are simple), we both strive to turn them over to God and let Him handle them. Because, as Dr. Seuss said, sometimes life gets very complicated. But, the answer is simple: God!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I read Wendy’s blog before I wrote mine and I want to share with you one of the “its” that I am currently learning to turn over to God.
I am a perfectionist. I expect a lot out of people around me and I expect even more from myself. I realize that and have known that about myself for a long, long time. And, for the most part, being a perfectionist has made me very successful in my career. But, I also find that it has a serious downside. I don’t like making mistakes. And, I usually beat myself up for a long time if I think I have made a mistake.
However, in my adult life, I have really come to realize that sometimes we do make mistakes. After all, we’re only human and despite our best efforts and intentions, sometimes things go wrong. And, like Wendy mentioned in her blog this morning, it is in those moments that I find myself asking God, “What can I learn from this?” Instead of spending time dwelling on the mistake and beating myself up for what I should have done looking back, I am trying to find the value in each mistake by putting it in my collection of experiences to grow and learn from. And let me tell you, for a perfectionist, it is really hard to let go of the “should have dones.” But, I am finding that those are one of those “its” that Wendy talked about today. Those things that we just turn over to God and let Him help us deal with it.
For those perfectionists out there, my advice today is not beat yourself up if you make a mistake. Just learn from it and use that knowledge to grow so that when you encounter that situation again, you can know better how to respond. And, as you are growing and learning, turn it over to God and let Him guide you in your growth.
