"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up."
~Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10

I was watching The View today and Taylor Swift was one of the guests. And, given the recent events at the Video Music Awards, they had her talk about how she felt when Kanye West jumped on stage and embarrassed her in front of millions of viewers. And, I was so impressed by the grace, poise, and maturity of this 19 year old girl. She talked about how it rattled her and how she had to gather herself quickly because she needed to perform just five minutes after the outburst. And, instead of disparaging Kanye or focusing on her own pain, she began talking about how much good came out of the bad situation. And, the thing that she talked about most was that she had so many people come to support her and encourage her and show her how much they loved her following it. She seemed almost stunned that so many people cared about her and was really touched to see them express it in this situation.

Listening to her surprise at how many people cared about her made me really think about our own relationships. It seems that people don't express how much they care about us until we are going through a terrible situation. And, it is usually when something goes wrong in our lives that we see who our true friends are. You know, the ones who stick closer than a brother. The ones who will drop everything in the middle of the night and drive cross country to help you if you needed them to.

Now, if you have someone like that in your life, then you are likely feeling very blessed and you are picturing them right now. And, if you don't have someone like that, then you are likely feeling really lonely as you read this. But, don't despair. If you don't have what I call a cross country friend, then I have some advice for how you can get one.

First, if you want to have a cross country friend, then BE a cross country friend.

Let me say that again.

If you want to have a cross country friend, then BE a cross country friend.

So, what does that mean? Being a cross country friend means that you make it abundantly clear to others that you are there for them and will do things that may "put you out" a little or cost you something (i.e. time, money, reputation). Usually, we make that abundantly clear to others because we are placed in a situation where we end up demonstrating it. But, we don't always have those opportunities to show others how willing we are to go out of our way for them.

So, what happens is that we oftentimes let our feelings and intentions go unspoken. We think that others know what we're thinking, what we're feeling, and what we would do for them. But, we never actually tell them. So, without a crisis where we can demonstrate it, the other people in our lives will likely never know. And, like Taylor Swift's surprise at how many people came to her support, the people in your life may not realize how much you'd do for them if they needed it.

Now, I don't wish a crisis on anyone, even though that is where I have found my cross country friends and that is where I have had the opportunity to be a cross country friend. So, in the absence of a crisis, we must express our love and willingness to go to extremes for those in our lives if we want them to know it.

So, the first step in developing this deep, meaningful relationship is expressing your willingness to give to this person. That expression may come in the form of behaviors during a crisis. Or, you may just need to tell them that you care about them and that you would drive cross country to help them if they needed it!

In addition to expressing it to those who are already in your life, you may also be feeling that you do not have anyone in your life who you feel this way about. And, if you earnestly want that type of relationship in your life, then I suggest that you pray daily for it. Pray that the Lord would put you in situations that allow you to demonstrate your love for others and willingness to be their cross country friend. And then, when the Lord places you in that situation, act accordingly. And, when you act like a cross country friend in a relationship that the Lord is developing, then you will find a special relationship with that person.

I have some cautions to also present. First, you cannot be a cross country friend to everyone you meet. You really can only expect to have a small handful of people who would expect you to drop everything and come to their need. We have to be careful not to overextend ourselves and save the day in every crisis that emerges in our network of relationships. God does not expect you to be everyone's cross country friend, nor should you expect that of yourself. But, prayerfully, you will be able to see who your most meaningful relationships are meant to be. Relatedly, my second caution to you is to not force a relationship to become more meaningful than it is meant to be. God will send people into your life that should be there. And, you will be able to see that if you are earnestly praying for that guidance.

I believe that we were designed for relationships. And, I believe that we need many types of relationships. One type of relationship that I believe that we need is a cross country friend who we know we can depend on through thick and thin. Someone, as it says in Proverbs 18:24 who sticks closer than a brother.

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

We need the security that this type of relationship brings and we need to be that type person for others. Further, we need to pray that the Lord will send us the opportunities to demonstrate our willingness to be this type of friend. And, we need to pray for the discernment to see situations in which we can reach out and be this type of friend. Because only when you give to others, will you begin to receive.

This discussion has largely been for the individual searching for this type of meaningful relationship. And, some of you may already have that special relationship in your life. And, if you do have that cross country friend already in your life, then tell that person today that you appreciate them and that you would drive cross country for them whenever they needed it! And, even if you and your friend know that already and you feel like you don't need to express it, I encourage you to still express it. Relationships need to be re-affirmed from time to time. So, reaffirm it and tell that person today that they are important enough to you to drive any distance for them and pay any cost!