"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up."
~Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10

We all learned to say, "I'm sorry" when we were little kids. And, when we hurt someone, we would reluctantly and half-heartedly say it. But, as we have gotten older, we may have found that it is even harder to say than when we were kids. Or, we may have found that we can't say it enough when we've deeply hurt someone we love.

So, what does the Bible say about how we should react when we have hurt someone we love?

Psalm 51 is a great place to start. In this psalm, we see a sincere outpouring of regret and apology. The key is that you can see a sincere desire to mend the situation. You can see in verses 2-7 that the psalmist really wanted to be washed clean.

2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

So, what should we do if we've deeply hurt someone we love?

First, acknowledge your mistake and make a sincere apology. In this apology, you should show the individual how you plan to learn from your mistake and how you are going to work towards restoring the relationship. An apology that simply is an "I'm sorry" does not help the person who was hurt see how it will not happen again. They may be reluctant to accept your apology if they think it was half-hearted or not fully thought out. However, if you can present how you have grown from this mistake and what you have learned that will prohibit it from happening again, your relationship with this loved one is more likely to be restored.

Secondly, in your apology, ask for forgiveness. And, as you are receiving their forgiveness, you must also remember to forgive yourself. Continuing to beat yourself up over the situation will not help you or your friend move forward. As it says in Ephesians 4:32,

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

It is essential that we forgive each other and that we forgive ourselves when we have hurt someone we love.

Finally, once we have offered a sincere apology and asked for forgiveness, we must be willing to put the event behind us and move forward. In all of your dear relationships, you should discuss hurtful events, forgive them, and then move on equipped with the lessons of the event. It is these lessons that will strengthen the relationship and help us grow as individuals.

There is nothing more precious on this earth than our relationships with our loved ones. We must cherish them and protect them. We also must work to restore them when hurts enter them. All relationships will have moments of hurt and knowing how to deal with those moments will insure that we maintain these most precious gifts that the Lord has given to us.