After the Miracle

Today's Devotional Thought
February 15, 2012 by Rachel Piferi

Take My Hand

Each day that we write our devotions to you, Wendy and I prepare something to share that we feel the Lord has laid on our hearts. The content of our devotions almost always comes from things that we are learning or experiencing on our own journeys with God. Some days are better than others as we struggle, learn, and grow in the Lord. But each day, we try to share something that God is showing us in our journey after the miracle.

Today, I want to be a little more transparent than normal because I want to share something that God showed me very vividly through a song that I heard Friday night.

On Friday, my husband and I took our youth group to a Casting Crowns concert. It was an amazing concert and if you ever get the opportunity to see Casting Crowns, I highly recommend it. The members of that band are amazing men and women of God and I was so impressed by them.

A woman named Lindsay McCaul was one of the opening acts for Casting Crowns that evening. And she sang a song that just stopped me in my tracks because it told the story of my last 2 1/2 years and how I feel today. And oh how the tears flowed when she sang the words to a song that I honestly could have penned. {I have included the song below if you would like to listen to it.}

The song opens this way...

I heard you say it, I know you did. You called me out into the waves and wind...

My mind rushed back to August 1, 2009. I was sitting in the Verizon Center at a Women of Faith conference in Washington, D.C. and God himself came down and spoke to me. He told me very clearly to leave my career and follow him. You see, my miracle was 1 year old and I knew for that entire year that I was supposed to tell her story. I just didn't know how or where I was supposed to be sharing what God had done and just how awesome he was. But, I knew down deep that I was supposed to be doing something with this amazing story I had been given. I just didn't know what. And at that conference in 2009, God started revealing his plan and he called me out into the waves and wind of ministry. I heard him say it, I know I did.

The song continues...

And for a moment, I was brave and strong...

I left the Women of Faith conference so excited to follow this new call on my life. Details began to unfold. This website was started. Wendy and I started praying and talking about working together and I felt very strongly that God was calling us to move to Sedley, a small town where Wendy lived. As we prayed and my husband searched for a job there, God opened many doors and we walked through them. I was so excited and the plan seemed so right. God's fingerprints were all over it and the presence of God in this plan made me feel so brave and strong. I resigned my career and I took off on this new adventure that God had for us. Oh how brave and strong I felt...

And the song continues...

But now everything is going wrong. Didn't you know that I'd be scared? Couldn't you see I was unprepared?

I sit here today, 2 1/2 years later, and I will admit that I am very scared on many days and I feel so very unprepared. I wouldn't say that things have "gone wrong," but they are definitely different than I envisioned. I had no idea that following God into a life serving him would mean so much pain. It may sound odd, but I had no idea that ministering to others meant that I would step out of my comfortable life and into the pain, heartache, loss, and devastation of other people's lives daily. I had no idea that I would feel so ill equipped to help the many hurting people that are out there. I simply had no idea what he was asking me to do.

Lord, did you know how unprepared I was to do this?

In 2009, I was a successful, strong, and self-confident young woman at the height of her career who was afraid of nothing and thought she could conquer any challenge that life threw her way. I left my career and followed God like I was simply taking on a new challenge in life. And for a moment, I was brave and strong.

But, that brave and strong young woman who simply walked away from her career and followed God into a new life is gone. And what remains is a woman who now understands what following God into the waves and storms of life really means. What remains is a woman who understands that being brave and strong is only good if you find your courage and strength in him. What remains is a woman who is deeply grieved by the pain of those around her, but who knows that she serves a God with a greater plan. What remains is a woman who so deeply desires for God to take her hand and lead her through the waves and wind to whatever divine plan he has.

When Jesus asked me to step out of the boat, I did. But, I had no idea what following him into ministry would mean. As I have stepped out of the boat, I have stepped into so much heartache, pain, and unexplainable loss that I cannot even articulate it all to you. I used to stand in front of a classroom, distanced from my students, and teach them about human behavior and life. I now sit closely with women and write to women who are going through unimaginable pain and just share with them what I know about my Jesus. I am scared many times that I simply will not have the words that they will need and so many times I feel unprepared to give them what they need in their darkest hours.

And the song continues...

I'm not asking for the reasons you hold or the safety of land, I just need you to take my hand.

I don't want to go back to my previous life or career. I am so blessed by this new life that God has given me. But, I so often feel scared and unprepared for the things I am facing. And it is at those moments that I see his hand outstretched for me to grab a hold of.

Oh sweet friends, much like Peter, I jumped out of the boat very quickly when Jesus asked me to. And for three steps, I was brave and strong. But I have learned that the storms of life are fierce and when Jesus asked me to follow him into ministry, he was asking me to step into the storms of other people's lives. But, he was not asking me to step out alone and do it on my own. He was asking me to do it only with his strength and his power and not with my own, something I had to learn by repeatedly feeling inadequate and scared and relying on his outstretched hand in those storms.

A far cry from the strong, successful, independent woman I used to be. But, such a better reflection, I believe, of who God wants me to be. He really just wants me to be obedient, to step out of the boat, and to grab his outstretched hand as he guides me through those storms.

Oh beloved friends, know that Jesus is calling us all out onto the water for some purpose and that we need to grab his outstretched hand so that he can guide us to that purpose. We simply cannot walk through the storms of life on our own strength. Nor does he expect us to.

"'Lord, if it's you,' Peter replied, 'tell me to come to you on the water.'

'Come,' he said. Then Peter walked on the water and came toward Jesus."
~Matthew 14:28-29