Today's Devotional Thought
November 16, 2010 by Rachel Piferi
Empathy
Yesterday, a friend of mine posted this on Facebook as his status: “You just don’t know what it is like to be me, you just don’t. So keep your mouth shut!??? It caught me off guard at first and I was shocked at its force. But, as I reflected on the statement, I started to really like it. And, it made me think of some of the psychological research on empathy.
Empathy is a construct that shows up in a lot of research on interpersonal relationships. The empathetic person is able to see things from other people’s perspectives and is able to understand and experience what others are feeling. This type of person is really good at “stepping into your shoes??? and seeing/feeling things from your perspective.
As you would imagine, someone who is high on empathy is good at making and maintaining friends. They are comfortable to be around and they make great confidants and counselors because they are good at seeing your perspective. In a way, I have always seen it as a cognitive and emotional selflessness. You see, they are able to step outside of their own perspectives and ways of doing things or interpreting things. They can “get over themselves,??? if you will, and really understand others.
Empathy is something that is learned from interacting with others in childhood and parents should teach their children perspective taking. It is good for children to learn how to see things from others perspectives. It becomes part of sharing, giving, and even behaviors like forgiveness and extending grace.
When I think of the relationships that I cherish and the ones that are the most successful, I see empathy at the very center of them. There is constant perspective taking and trying to understand the other person’s needs. And there is a desire to practice empathy because there is a desire to truly understand the person and love the person. And ultimately, this desire to empathize with the other person reveals a selflessness in the relationship. And, as we have seen repeatedly, abandoning selfish desires is key to building satisfying relationships with others.
As you go through your day today, I encourage you to focus on others’ perspectives in situations. Especially when you have a misunderstanding or disagreement with another person, try to approach it with love and empathy for their perspective. It will help in your relationships and in your daily interactions with others. And, seeing things from others’ perspectives will help you as you try to understand others’ needs and why they may react in the ways that they do. And, more than anything, it will help you build strong relationships with others and demonstrate Christ’s love.
December